Disarrayed moments for intimacy..

Most days I feel as if internal peace is unattainable for extended periods of time. I find that my peace is attained in second increments, while I live the majority of my life in complete disarray.. I don't grovel on my short comings on this journey for peace, I take the moments of stillness and hold on to them for dear life.. I cherish them unknowing when my next moment will come. I wait for the second of calm, that moment where no sound, no light, no outside force, it is just you and your surrounding encapsulated in an intimate blip of time.. I believe it's the disarray that makes for the sweetest moments, the fear of not being able to attain a moment as blissful as the one before.. I wander aimlessly, so when my next moment comes, I can accept it with open arms and welcome it as it comes.. peace is not something I can attain, yet it chooses the moments it wants to reveal itself to us..